John Waters

Continued from front page

Imagine. Just with a set of car keys. And that's what's on the cover of the book. It's really horrifying. (Much laughter on both sides) It's really hideous.

How do you work with something like that or Lorena Bobbit?

Oh, we did that scene in Desperate Living. She cut his dick off and a dog ate it. Same thing about Crying Game, big deal. We did that scene in Pink Flamingos, really. I know a lot of ladies with that problem.

How about smoking? I was concerned. I didn't see anyone smoking in Serial Mom.

No. I don't smoke anymore, but that's not the reason. Cigarettes are such a continuity problem. You have to have like six different lengths, somebody handing them back and forth 'cause you know the cigarette lengths have to be the same. They're a continuity nightmare. I've almost never had anybody smoke in my movies, even when I was a militant smoker. For that very

reason.

I was remembering Mink Stole in the iron lung in Crybaby, smoking away.

Yes, I guess that was my first one. I don't smoke anymore, but I don't mind if people do. I'm not insane about it. Pretty soon though smoking is going to be illegal everywhere, which is really dumb, 'cause there will just be a new drug to kill for and to make profits from. There'll be cigarette ghettoes where people will have to live and smoke.

(Laughing) So you're not a reformed smoker, nothing to worry about?

No.

What about irony. Is there enough?

There's almost too much. In some circles there's too much. In lower middle class homes nothing is so bad it's good. If you're hungry you can't think something's ironic. Irony is only really a luxury of the people who have money. If you're struggling in any way, you don't have time for irony. To be honest, that's why my movies generally do better in more upscale theaters. In real trashy movie theaters my films have never worked. In the highbrow theaters in the snootiest neighborhoods is where they work

the best. You can't really appreciate bad taste if you're hungry. I mean, appreciating bad taste is a luxury.

Speaking of irony, did you ever think you would see a film of yours profiled on Entertainment Tonight?

What's worse, and even more obscene is that Time magazine has a huge article about me. I've been wondering, is there anything left unsaid?

Believe me the sound of my own voice makes me gag.

Are you still a connoisseur of hair? Sadly, I think the big hairdos have even disappeared from Baltimore. Now they're wearing the Farrah Fawcett-do 15 years too late. Farrah Fawcett is a patron saint in Baltimore. People pray to her.

Will we ever see Farrah in a movie of yours? Or Cher maybe?

I don't know. Cher I think is more possible because I think Cher does have a sense of humor. I'm not so sure Farrah does.

Have you seen the movie Grief yet? No. I haven't even heard of it. Grief? Sounds good. It's a subject matter that's appealing to

me.

How did you find the band L7?

L7. I just liked their music. I know about them. I have their records. I was a fan.

I heard they had an outbreak of yeast infections because of the costumes they had to wear.

They might have. I'm not aware of their crotch problems. (Laughs)

What about Patty Hearst? I was glad to see she was back.

Oh sure, I love Patty. There was an interview with her today in the paper, where she said her parents were in denial about her career. (Laughs) I think she has a good screen presence. Wait a minute. (Pause) They're really hollering for me. I've got the next [phone call] on the line.

Well, thanks so much. Hey, next time build a whole movie around Mink Stole.

She had a big part in this one. I just read an article in New York Native that says that she and Kathleen work together as well as Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance, which I think will make her very happy.

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